Feeling good can be a lot tougher than just making a few changes. It can take more than just doing what you’re supposed to do. Vitamins, diet, exercise; sure, they help, but they do not always ‘do the trick’.
Today, I got up after getting seven or so hours of sleep (a good night for me). I took my multivitamin, Vitamin D, Iron and B12. I fixed myself tea, not coffee. I mixed in a little bit of sugar and coconut milk instead of dairy, which can be a problem for me. I ate an apple with peanutbutter for breakfast. I was active and on my feet all day at work.
For lunch, I had homemade cauliflower soup made with just bone broth, organic cauliflower, leeks and some garlic. I mixed in a quinoa rice blend for protein. I had strawberries for a snack. I walked my dog to pick up my CSA bag, then the kiddo and I walked to our favorite café to do homework.
I don’t feel great. I barely even feel okay.
Healthy eating, taking vitamins, and getting exercise isn’t always the cure-all. I wish it was. I wish when I started walking today, I didn’t have to drag myself along. That the simple act of working to become healthier made me instantly feel better.
There have been results, but not instantaneous. This last week, I’ve had setbacks. I’ve had several days that I felt miserable. I needed to take long naps.
My tooth pain was pretty bad. I had two fillings done last Friday. When they put the composite in place, they didn’t file it down enough.
I was so numb I didn’t realize how bad it was until hours after. I was putting too much pressure on a highly sensitive tooth all weekend while the office was closed.
They were finally able to get me on Tuesday. While it is much better now that they fixed it, the tooth is still highly sensitive and I’ve been in pain for days on end. Coupled with sinus pain caused by seasonal allergies, I’ve had to rely on ibuprofen and sinus medication almost every day.
After enduring Lyme disease and the arthritis and joint damaged it caused, I’m careful about the medications I take. I don’t want to build up a tolerance for when I really need it. I don’t want to over-tax my liver. I spent far too much of my youth trying to damage my liver.
So I wait until I absolutely can’t stand the pain anymore before taking medications. The problem with this approach is that I am in a pain fog for a long while before the medications kick in. It has eaten into the time that I am functional and productive.
This has not helped with my mood or optimism. It was a set back, to say the least.
I pulled this file up a few days later to edit, and I have to admit, I’m feeling much better. I had an outing with some other writers, which was wonderful and encouraging. I rested and got a few more full nights of sleep. I continued to eat well, exercise and use medication as needed.
Nothing is perfect. I don’t feel amazing or fully healed. I’m still struggling to write anything creative. Where my mind used to just linger in imaginative places, creating scenes and people and plots, I’m stalling. I can’t seem to string together more than a few ideas.
I’m going to keep pushing though. I’m going to keep trying. Even if all I manage is this, writing in my blog while I try and get past this slump, that’s enough. I will get past it. My creativity and the joy it gives me will never be gone. It’s just… proving a little difficult to access.