It’s been hard to write lately.

There are times when I find it difficult to write. Sometimes it’s lack of time. Other times, it’s lack of inspiration. And all too often, it’s simply because I don’t think I have anything worth writing.

I went through a period of time my twenties when I felt I had nothing to say, nothing worth writing, that my life, my experiences and my thoughts weren’t worth writing down. That I had nothing worthwhile to say or share. That I wasn’t smart enough, worldly enough, good enough, or just… enough.

I’ve discussed this before in my blog, the feeling that we’re never enough.  In I Remember Falling, I talk about my difficulties and grief over the fact that in this life, for me at least, people feel as if they will never be enough. I try and cover the topic again in the post We are good enough as we are. It’s a mantra I repeat even if it feels like it doesn’t always ring true. I have to believe I am good enough.

I know one thing. Even when I wasn’t feeling like I was good enough, I was always thinking and dreaming. When I wasn’t writing, I was drawing.

I’m a creative. I am forever taking in stories. I read book after book, watch movie after movie, marathon watch series after series. Fantasy, drama, stories, myths, folklore, I adore it all.

I know, even now, when I’m having a hard time writing, I remind myself that it’s not because I’m not good enough. It’s not because I lack skill, inspiration or drive.

Life just gets in the way sometimes. I’ve been busy, its the holiday season, after all. I just had a birthday. I work just short of full time at a physically taxing job. I’ve been sick for nearly three weeks. My cat almost died. My parents and sister came to visit for a week. I have a child. I was doing website, logo designs and graphic design work.

Finding time to write hasn’t been a priority.

I will start writing again. I will start drawing again.

I never really stopped. I will never stop.

It has never mattered who sees or reads my work. I’ve never cared about becoming well known, famous or even making money.

I create because it is who I am. That is all that matters.

One thought on “It’s been hard to write lately.

  1. I can also relate very strongly to this post ❤️ Life gets in the way, way too often! It’s only when I stop (if I can) that I realize just how much I have to say, if I (can) stop and think about it. But yeah, that whole Life thing. It’s complicated! Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to take a month (or a year!) and go live in the desert or on a beach or something and have nothing to do or worry about except contemplating and writing? Ahhh, bliss 😊💜

    Liked by 1 person

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