Writing, art and a total lack of… something.

There are so many days that I wake up KNOWING I must do something creative or else I won’t feel fulfilled. It is in my nature, it is who I am. And yet, I’m so indecisive, that there are times where I just don’t know what I should do and have no driving need to work on anything in particular.

On any given day, after my son goes off to school and as long as I don’t have a million appointments to go to, I have time. Time to read, write, edit, draw or in some way, create something.

Today is one of those days.

I’ve been really wanting to work on the fourth novel in my series, but I can’t seem to find the draft of the version I have in mind to work on. If indeed it ever actually existed. It’s been quite some time since I worked on it, and I don’t know if I actually wrote the scenes I was sure I did and noticed were missing in my last read through. I don’t even want to start looking through my external drive to see if this version was backed up.

bells

Art by Shannon Marie Chavez – Sabriel from Garth Nix’s Abhorsen Series. Drawn for the Drawcember challenge I’ve been doing over at Facebook. This particular piece is for the prompt “Bells”. I couldn’t resist.  

I’ve also got my next #Drawcember art piece to work on. The prompt is Scrooge. I have a strange desire to draw Scrooge McDuck, but again, it’s not a driving or passionate desire. Not like the inspiration to draw Sabriel. I will have to post the art I’ve done for Drawcember soon, at my Art and Design page.

I was also working on Kelly Stacy’s website, which I could continue on. I’m not entirely happy with the them for it, or her other site.

I am also supposed to be reading and critiquing for my critique group, Rainier Beach Writers.  I’ve got at least four pieces I need to read, re-read and add notes to so I don’t totally fail at critiquing like I did last time.

And then, there’s the looming threat of RUSTYCON. I’m responsible for the Family Track. Which means I have to get my shit together in order to be in charge of all the kids crafts I signed up to do. I also need to find books to go with the themed crafts, as well as make sure the crafts I promised are something I have the materials for an ability to do.

There are also a number of non-art related things I could be doing, you know, like the dishes, laundry, figuring out if there’s a cobbler around to fix my damned boots, getting out the Christmas tree, wrapping presents and giving my stinky little dog a bath.

I’m not even inspired enough to listen to the new book I downloaded, which I’ve been anxiously waiting for. I finally got NeuroTribes  on audio download from the library and haven’t cracked it. I’ve also been meaning to watch Sense 8 or Continuum on Netflix and feel no desire to even turn on the TV.

So, instead, I’m writing a blog to complain about all the things I know I should be doing but don’t want to. Talk about First World Problems of a spoiled little housewife.

I think my real issue today is just the fact that I know I have so much I should be doing, I can’t mentally prioritize. Usually writing or drawing drive me, eat at me, and I just… drop everything else to work on the things I really want to do and do the things I HAVE to do only when I HAVE to do them.

But inspiration isn’t constant, which is actually a good thing because I feel down right manic at times when I’m obsessed with a project. Sometimes it all drops at once, usually when I’ve finished something big and know I need to move on but am not mentally prepared to switch gears.

I just recently finished the latest revisions of my BIG novel. THE one I want to get out and attempt to pitch and sell. I sent it to a friend who read and critiqued it and now I now I know where to start with the next set of revisions.

But I KNOW I need to let it sit. I need a break from it. Taking that break has been so incredibly difficult. I feel a little empty without these characters I’ve been working with for so long taking up space in my mind, playing out their scenes in my head.

I’ve steadily worked on other projects, but I just wrapped up the latest revisions and am waiting for a couple of other projects to start. The in between is so difficult. I need deadlines, I need people hounding me, I need to know what is most important right now, at this moment and just get to work until I think I have enough distance and an open enough schedule to tackle yet another round of revisions and send it out again.

My life has been ruled by this novel for so long, I need it to be done, but I’m not putting out a half assed piece of work. This is my first real try at a novel. I want to get the process figured out before I move on to the next one.

And so, now, because I can’t just keep writing here in my blog, I’m going to hit schedule on this thing and move on. Critiques are probably the priority. As are edits on my dystopian fairy tale I had reviewed a while back. I will pick one and run with it.

And then, on to the necessities. Holidays and family, and all the regular stuff of life.

 

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